Twitter hater says he’d rather drink pee than coconut water, and Vita Coco follows through

Brands uh, really are going for it nowadays. 

Vita Coco, for one, had us all screaming when they responded to a hater who tweeted that he’d rather drink their social media manager’s pee than consume Vita Coco’s coconut water. Instead of simply moving on, the company mustered up all its BDE and had a staffer urinate in a jar, post a photo of said pee, and ask for the hater’s address.

How the hell did we get here?

Heavily opinionated Twitter user Tony Posnanski took to the platform in March to share some hot takes nobody asked for, including an attack on coconut water. In yet another “unpopular opinions” post, he tweeted, “Coconut water is disgusting. Even if it is from a baby coconut.” 

Two months after making that post, Vita Coco had some words for Posnanaski, whose Twitter bio says he owns an “all you can eat egg restaurant.” 

“There is such a thing as too many eggs,” Vita Coco responded, seemingly looking for a Twitter fight.

Unpopular Opinion: there is such a thing as too many eggs.

— Vita Coco (@VitaCoco) May 15, 2019

Posnanski replied by once again asserting that coconut water is “fucking disgusting” and shared a 2014 article he wrote for the Huffington Post about how much he hated the beverage. Let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the absolute passion in this writing: 

So I bought a stupid green baby coconut and I did manage to open it. I drank the water. It was still gross. It tasted just like the nasty stuff I drank from the bottle. Except now I had coconut water all over my counter because opening a coconut is a pain.

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OK. We get it. This guy truly despises coconut water. But when Vita Coco offered to send him some in hopes of swaying him, Posnanski kept up the hate.

“I would rather drink your social media person’s piss than coconut water,” he spewed. 

Fuck that. Save that nasty shit for someone else. I would rather drink your social media persons piss than coconut water.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

Posnanski probably didn’t expect Vita Coco to return with the same energy. The brand responded with a photo of someone — presumably a social media manager — standing in a bathroom stall, holding up a Vita Coco-branded jar of yellow liquid. 

How do you recover from that? Is there any witty response to someone literally peeing in a jar to fulfill your own pissed off (sorry) insult? Sure you dragged them, but at what cost?

And although coconut water is disgusting this is extremely funny.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 15, 2019

Vita Coco confirmed in a DM to Mashable that it really is pee in that jar. 

Vita Coco confirms that it is indeed pee in the jar.

Image: morgan sung/mashable

When asked about whether it was only one person’s urine in the jar, or a team effort, Vita Coco attributed the sheer volume of liquid to “unlimited coconut water in the office.” They did not confirm whether only one person peed in the jar. 

Even Twitter queen Chrissy Teigen took a side, standing for coconut water. 

u deserve it Tony I am proud to have worked with them !!!!

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 15, 2019

This, folks, isn’t just a masterpiece, but a perfect display of big dick energy from Vita Coco.

Other Twitter users noted that although brand Twitter has an unfortunate tendency to be extra, Vita Coco really did go above and beyond in this social media stunt. Sure, IHOP tried to be quirky with its burger-themed name change, but can it really top this?

That’s it. Go home, everyone. Twitter is done for today. 

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